A time to be negative...??
For the last week, I have been going back and forth on the topic of the next blog. To be honest, the past week has not exactly been a time when I was 'living in the vortex'. Not many happy and inspired moments.
So what was the reason?
I cant think of anything in particular. I still had my clients, did some social interaction, read articles, spent time with family... no particular event that would trigger this sinking feeling I was dealing with.
As a yoga trainer and a Life Coach, I am seen as someone who carries and maintains a certain level of positive vibe during the sessions. So when I have my moments like this, what do I do?
I am a part of many online forums and groups, I have a circle of friends but what I realized was that all of these people (who are LOA savvy) only talked about good things and display constant high energy. I really didn't feel like being the one who stood out like a sore thumb, talking about how 'bad' I feel and how stressed I am, etc etc.
'Its just a bad day, just deal with it', I said to myself.
I know what you might think but at a time when I was in doubt and feeling down, I had no inclination to interact with this group. It was too much positivity for me!
In retrospect, I realize that it was my limiting belief about bringing the group vibe down and not the group's attitude.
That got me thinking, we all have are circles and support groups, but does all the constant display of happiness become the very reason you stay away? Do a lot more people feel obligated to 'maintain' a certain vibe that is line with the majority of the group? Do more of us not dare discuss topics which are 'too simple'?
What about with our close friends? I know I have in the past not being completely honest to my closet pals (because I felt I didn't want to burden them). And I have had certain friends not talk about their feelings during the period of struggle.
I had a group call last Friday and it was a life saver! It started off as the ideal call, everyone happy, good news all around, everything was too prefect. Until one of the participants shared how she had been worrying about a few changes she is dealing with.
You wouldnt believe the chain reaction - four more 'came forward' and talked about similar struggles. WHAT?! Just 2 minutes ago this group was perfect and now this??!
The issues were 'simple' - fluctuations in income, being worried about next steps, lack of inspiration, the future...etc. The call was fabulous - not because people were struggling, because it felt like a honest conversation.
A lot of times, we go through everyday struggles feeling as if we are the only ones feeling down. We might feel that we should not bring others down with us or we don't want to be the negative person in the group.
I realize that support groups, close friends, coaches are there to give you a outside perspective. Its not called being negative if you ask for input to deal with a struggle. And what good is a defunct system?!
And the sooner you deal with your boo-hoo feelings, the sooner you will get your stride back. So that's what I am going to do, be honest and truthful about my feelings with the people who care about me.
Do you have the same experience? If so, what are you going to change your approach.
26/9/2011 01:13:49 am
I always keep in mind, there are two classes of complainers, one class who vent what they are feeling in the hopes to feel better through a conversation and the second who complain because they love to complain and they're hoping you join them in their misery (misery loves company). I hope to remain a 'first class' whiner (lol) and that's what coaches are for, to help turn the first class complainers into people who see their current contrast as a reveal of what they really want instead of joining them. That's why a good friend or family member most often is not as effective as a coach, the friend has an emotional attachment to the situation and the coach deliberately remains focused on the bigger picture to assist a change in perspective. The coach needs a coach too!
26/9/2011 03:12:51 am
Nikky - Yes my friend, m with you on getting the sulk on with ice cream, sometimes that's what is needed. I miss our cuppa chai :)
26/9/2011 03:14:14 am
Caroline - me like the term first class whiner. And its so good to have you in our coach calls - Coach needs coach! :)
26/9/2011 04:06:28 am
As a former worrier, this discovery has changed my life because it finally gave me the answers I had been searching for. I was almost in tears when I heard that I was just using the wrong Law of Attraction recipe, http://www.beAbundant.info
26/9/2011 05:58:36 pm
26/9/2011 06:24:11 pm
Thank you Lori for your words, it is always a nice thing to be validated for one's work but more so knowing that we have a uplifting support system between us.
Its that old BT slogan - "its good to talk" - I have a tendency to bottle stuff up. I'm a natural listener rather than speaker (not bad traits in a coach).
27/9/2011 01:21:34 am
Carolyn, welcome, nice to hear from you.
28/9/2011 04:20:45 am
29/9/2011 12:44:49 am
Thank you Vincent for that insight! I do agree we need to evolve and expand in order to experience as much as we can.
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