Raise your hand if you are too hard on yourself...
Raise your hand if you are overcoming a habit or compulsive behavior...
Raise your hand if you are making progress but it's taking longer than you imagined...
OK, Good! I can't see you but if continue to read this article and email me with your answers, I know you are feeling one of those statements.
Getting over a compulsive behavior that's so ingrained in your everyday physce is a worthy challenge. And I want to make sure you understand that it's the best thing you can do for yourself. It is also something that will test your limits, your tenacity, and your willpower.
When you are up against all that, it's natural not to know how everything will work out. It's also natural to hit a few bumps along the way, including but not limited to falling back into the same pattern.
And if you do, the way you see yourself in that moment says a lot about your level of Self Love, how quickly you bounce back and dictate the probability of regression.
Let me give you an example.
Say you are overcoming your compulsive eating habits. In the past, you have taken to eating multiple times a day and are now trying to work your emotions instead of feeding yourself high-calorie foods.
There will be days when you are overcome and have a repeat of the episode.
As you eat, you find yourself yell and curse inside your head...
How did this happen?
Here I go again, this is so, so bad!
I can't do anything right, I promised I would never!
I am going to remain fat all my life!
Look at me, I am disgusting...
You take a time out and the next day you start again.
When I see that example (and you can add your own struggle here), I see the beginning and the last sentence as part of the growing and as part of the process of healing.
It's how you look at yourself and treat yourself when you have a misstep that is the biggest roadblock to growth.
That self-talk when you are down, the self-imposed beat down when you are at your weakest is what increases the learning curve. It increases the time gap between creating and having it manifested in reality.
You don't have to encourage the old behavior but you aren't helping yourself by fueling those 'down energies' as well.
Engaging those thoughts and feelings will only procrastinate what you are hoping to achieve.
Loving yourself should be unconditional.
When you are vulnerable, weak, or exposed why would you want to further cut yourself with words?
Who, if not you, is in the best place to provide a space of acceptance for ALL of you?
Here are a few questions to begin the turnaround:
Start with reconnecting with why you are making that change. Figure out why you feel the need to be harsh with yourself. And if it were someone you cared about, would your approach be any different? How can you begin to get supportive and accepting of yourself?
Maybe put together a script that comes from a place of love and tolerance and have it nearby to read if you find yourself in one of your moments!
I'd love to hear how it goes with those questions!
Written With Love.
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Deliberate Creation starts with taking responsibility for what has already manifested or keeps manifesting around you as part of your reality.
That can be one of the most difficult ideas to get behind when you find yourself in the thick of things.
This idea that we create what we experience is also a huge part of Patanjali's Yoga Sutras. There are verses dedicated to explaining how the consciousness engages with external stimulus to create a false identity. And that, it is within the power of each individual to break through those identities to discover True Self.
'Why is this happening to me?'
That is the question most of us default to when we experience something that doesn't fall into what we thought would happen or when we are faced with pain and suffering or when we find ourselves trapped by our circumstance.
This morning I found myself in the middle of such a circumstance. I was grappling with a family issue that has cropped up again and one that I have dealt with all my life. I have done a lot of work on the impact it has had on me as a child and the impact it can have on me now, as an adult. And I still have a way to go...
I spent most of the morning, in bed, feeling drained, unable to get to any creative work I had planned for the day.
The situation at home is not something I have direct control over nor is it something I can get in the middle of. But like all taboo issues that are well hidden from the rest of the world, it has the power to stop me in my tracks and upset my center.
So I found myself thinking, 'Why is this happening to me, again?!'
'Why is this happening for me?'
I quickly changed to answering this question. It's my power question. It takes me from feeling like a victim to healing from a place of strength.
I create my reality. My reality is a reflection of thoughts and feelings inside of me. I attract what I believe to be true and what I feel I deserve.
By asking why this is happening for me, I look within. I look for the part of me that needs healing. I look for the self-defeating thoughts. I look for the learning I am still to have with this situation. I look for the chance to use my inner guidance to take me back to my center, to my state of happiness as quickly as I can. I look at the ways to live the experience without engaging the lower vibrations.
When you find yourself in the thick of things, don't play the victim for too long. You are more than that, you deserve better than that, you can have a different ending.
Here are some potent questions to get you started:
That is where seasoned Deliberate Creators and Spiritualist spend their time during a crisis.
Are you one of them?
Written with Love.
PS: Share the link on social media and make my day!
Find out when we can work together so that you too become a seasoned Deliberate Creator!
In case you are wondering: I have been using those very questions today to work my way out of the spiral I experienced this morning. After this blog, I will record another episode of Thought Nuggets and then it's off for a walk with my dog! Happy days!