What we get wrong about people that hurt us

"When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help." - Thich Nhat Hanh

​Over the past few months, I've been dealing with a lot of emotional healing and forgiveness. It's been a constant theme in my personal work as well as the people that have come to me for Pranic Healing. 

In my personal life circumstances have resurfaced that have placed me in a position (again) to deal with inner energies and level up. And no surprise the people that have found me for Pranic healing bring with them similar circumstances. 

Somewhere along the way I (re)found this quote. I've read versions of it and have seen it explained in many different ways. But it wasn't until this phase of my own healing did I truly feel a shift with the 'spilling over' part of the quote. 

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What we have within us is what we are able to project outside of us. 

We perceive the world through our own unique lens. It is full of beliefs, expectations and memories from past experiences. On most days we aren't aware of which belief or expectations we are operating from. It's all a very unconscious motion. 

But on any given day we KNOW how we are feeling. We know if we are feeling calm, happy, hopeful, frustrated, angry or helpless.

On days when we feel calm, happy, or hopeful we tend to display more patience, understanding, compassion towards others. We expect good things to happen. We draw from the best of our memories and beliefs. 

And on days when we feel frustrated, angry or helpless we tend to be snappy, judgemental, cruel towards others. We expect the bad things to happen. We draw from the worst of our memories and beliefs. 

We draw out from whatever is in the well within and pour it outside of us.   

What we continue to get wrong about people that hurt us is exactly this.

When someone hurts us, we play a victim, we look at ourselves instead of bringing understanding to the situation. We react, flare up and unknowingly 'pick up' the energy that the other person has put out. We take it with us, and we know the rest of the story... 

Take a step back and imagine the helplessness, breathlessness and suffocation of the person who is overflowing with anger, frustration or sadness. One can only feel compassion for them. 

When someone is overflowing with anger, frustration or sadness they don't need more of that same energy from us. They need the bucket of love, compassion and joy to be filled. 

This is not to say, we must stand there and take whatever is thrown at us. Walk away. But intend unto them energies of compassion, calm and love.

Fill their empty bucket don't add to the ones that are overflowing. 

It's the only way to not add more suffering to ourselves and to those that are in pain.