I am afraid. I get unnerved. I feel anxious. I accept the paralyzing affects the fear of failure delivers.
I confessed having these feelings in a recent conversation in an effort to be supportive to a person who is currently overwhelmed starting over.
‘I always thought that you aren’t scared of anything. It’s nice to know that you feel those things too.’ In their voice I felt their relief and respite.
It got me thinking about how many of my readers deserved that truth. How many of them would benefit from knowing that I am with them in all those emotions? I bet a few of you.
So this is for you who are currently feeling scared, overwhelmed, nervous or as if you are not good enough.
I doubt myself a lot and I get nervous quite often. I did when I re-started my practice, when I started writing again, when I launched my program and especially now as I write my first book.
What I don’t do is ignore these emotion exist in me. Deny feeling them. Pretend I am steady all the time. (Now I have also put it out there to the larger audience).
Here’s what we must realize. Self-doubt is normal. The best of the best have these feelings. But we can't let these feelings keep us down. Or let them keep us from following our passion.
We need to find a way to work through those doubts. We need to find ways to debunk them. Because in the end what matters is that we embrace every opportunity to live the story of our life the way we want to.
What doubts do you have?
What stops you?
What is the situation that you aren’t able to move forward from?
What story will you tell 20 years from now?
Here's to you, your story and your courage!
Leave your comments below, we would love to hear from you!
As deliberate creators we know that it’s all mind over matter. If you vibrate in the energy of what you want, it will be drawn into your experience. Every single time.
A large part of how you feel and the energy you vibrate has to do with the dialogue you have in your head. It's the part of you that is constantly feeding you with statements. While we tend to raise our awareness to the external stimuli we forget to take notice of the inner talk.
A lot of you know that I’ve had to uproot and move. Not to a new house or a new city but a new country!
Driving is different, currency and change is different, signs, metric systems, the cooking top, check outs at shops, gas stations, how the doors open… there’s a longer list.
Quiet recently, I walked into the bedroom and found myself stumbling to turn on the lights.
‘Oh! Come on Ruby! How can you be so stupid! Four months and you still don't get that the switch moves ‘up’ not ‘down’ to turn it on!'
Not sure what made me but I caught myself in that moment. Hold on, did I just call myself stupid? Over lights? Really?
I started to think about the study that showed moving house is like the top three most stressful things you can experience. But wait I moved countries! That must be above the house moving thing right?
Where was my compassion? Where was the support I so easily extend to people I coach? How many times have I done this to myself over the last few months?
And the answer to that last one was a lot!
I have been cruel, intolerant, angry, frustrated, curt and judgmental with myself for the time it’s taking me to adjust and acclimatize.
And its no wonder I am still trying to get set up here!
Your inner dialogue plays a huge part in your success, your confidence and your overall state of happiness.
Constantly putting yourself down can be destructive and can cause you to be paralyzed with doubt and uncertainty.
Whatever you say to yourself impacts how you feel. And we KNOW how we feel creates and attracts experiences into our lives.
So, what have you been telling yourself lately?
Leave your comment below. Or on Facebook.
A different story for Paris.
Disclaimer: This is an opinion piece on how I choose to process the recent attacks in Europe. It's a perspective that is my truth.
Today I watched a talk show host start the conversation by saying; 'Why do they hate us?’ The topic of debate of course the recent attacks in Paris. They debated, I listened and then went on to make some dinner.
That opening statement however, didn't leave my mind. It didn't sit well with me and I knew in my heart of hearts, it wasn't true.
I have said before that one of the life lessons I learned was that when someone is mean to you, it’s a reflection of what's going on with them and not you. This is true every single time.
I my 20’s I had a fierce corporate ambition and today as I was thinking about this piece I remember that I have been guilty of gossip when others were doing better than me. I was though on them, I isolated them and didn’t show appreciation for their work. It had nothing to do with them, it was about how I perceived the impact of their success on mine!
In the end, my behavior didn’t stop their success or mine. But what it did was to leave me bitter, stressed and unsatisfied. And the joke, after a decade I would realize corporate glory was really not my idea of fun!
But how to justify this statement; ‘Why do they hate us?’
Is it really about us? Can it be that they are acting out? And why would any blindly follow anyone? What would it take to empty out what they know and accept and follow a purpose?
They have a purpose? Yes they do!
Having a purpose is good right? Yes. Then what?
Over the ages, as a collective we seem to have embraced standardization, one way of doing things. And we seem to lost practice of loved based tolerance.
Everyone on every side, at least from what I can see, is sympathetic to their reason and intolerant for anything else.
As conscious creators didn’t we come here to experience via the physical dimension? It’s easy to get caught up with the urgency created by big images that seem so present, immediate and wanting attention. It’s easy to travel the route of fear and negativity.
Tonight, I invite you to start thinking about loved based tolerance. Let’s focus our attention to creating vibrations and conversations that are positive.
Think of one thing / person that is different than what you expect. Write down three positive things that that thing or person contributes to life in general.
Here’s what I can think of for the Paris situation:
As I am, I encourage you to get caught up with the feel good type of energy. The best thing each you, my dearest readers, can do for the folks on either side, is raise your thoughts to the good that will come out of this.
Tonight, think on what you’d like the human collective to be.
Leave your comments on the website or Facebook!
5 Tips to Start Anew
Starting something new is exciting but can also be an overwhelming thing to do. Whether it’s starting a new project, pitching a new idea, starting out on your own, a new job, or a new responsibility in a form a marriage, have a baby, taking on a pet…
It’s easy to feel like you don’t know what to do and where to begin.
I lived through a similar experience when I started out as a Life Coach. As I researched the internet about the industry and what other folks were doing, I was overcome with anxiety.
How am I possibly going to be able to do all of that!
If we let it, it could lead to procrastination. But a little help from the tips below, you will be able to move forward:
Make changes or addition to the list to suit you. But whatever you do, start now!
Share this on social media or with folks that might benefit from the read.
The family that we choose for ourselves. That means the people in your life that aren't your birth family but overtime are a part of your life on a regular basis.
Families have a special place in relationships and have incredible control over how you feel. Traditionally that used to be parents, grandparents or maybe an aunt or uncle.
For a lot of us, it’s come to be that we aren't as close to our birth families as we are to the ‘faux families’ we have chosen for ourselves. And although I have used the word 'faux', it’s anything but.
This blog is for those who find this situation to be true.
Over time, we have unconsciously curated people as an integral part of our life; school or college mates, neighbors, work mates, ex's, dates gone wrong, professors, support groups, friends of friends, online followers, etc.
Today these faux families have more control over us than we like to admit. I bet most of us feel our actions are independent of them or our feelings not fueled by their actions.
So not true!
Some might argue that a lot of us have no choice in who we interact on a daily basis. That we can't really choose our teachers, work mates or neighbors.
And I say, yes that's true. But here’s why I say that.
Who we are surrounded by is an external reflection of who we are inside. You will bring into your life people, things and situation that reflect your thoughts. You will continue to have the same experiences and be fed with the same information over and over.
So what does your faux family say about you?
To rebuild and update the people you have in your life means to work on yourself.
Maybe as a temporary measure, you can avoid someone or cut them out of your life but it won't fix the core issue; how you feel inside, what you think and what filters you use to process information.
And as a result, more often than not, you’ll find that similar people and situations are back into your life.
Reflect on your chosen family. Does this hold true for you? Are you in a good place with the quality of your faux family?
If no, how much more time are you will to let pass in this state? What compromises will you continue to make? What’s it worth? Or better yet, is it worth it?