Are you unknowingly fueling your regression?

Raise your hand if you are too hard on yourself... 

Raise your hand if you are overcoming a habit or compulsive behavior... 

Raise your hand if you are making progress but it's taking longer than you imagined...

OK, Good! I can't see you but if continue to read this article and email me with your answers, I know you are feeling one of those statements. 

Getting over a compulsive behavior that's so ingrained in your everyday physce is a worthy challenge. And I want to make sure you understand that it's the best thing you can do for yourself. It is also something that will test your limits, your tenacity, and your willpower.

When you are up against all that, it's natural not to know how everything will work out. It's also natural to hit a few bumps along the way, including but not limited to falling back into the same pattern.

And if you do, the way you see yourself in that moment says a lot about your level of Self Love, how quickly you bounce back and dictate the probability of regression.   

Let me give you an example. 

Say you are overcoming your compulsive eating habits. In the past, you have taken to eating multiple times a day and are now trying to work your emotions instead of feeding yourself high-calorie foods. 

There will be days when you are overcome and have a repeat of the episode. 

As you eat, you find yourself yell and curse inside your head...

How did this happen?

Here I go again, this is so, so bad!

I can't do anything right, I promised I would never!

I am going to remain fat all my life!

​Look at me, I am disgusting...

You take a time out and the next day you start again. 

When I see that example (and you can add your own struggle here), I see the beginning and the last sentence as part of the growing and as part of the process of healing. 

It's how you look at yourself and treat yourself when you have a misstep that is the biggest roadblock to growth. 

That self-talk when you are down, the self-imposed beat down when you are at your weakest is what increases the learning curve. It increases the time gap between creating and having it manifested in reality. 

You don't have to encourage the old behavior but you aren't helping yourself by fueling those 'down energies' as well. 

Engaging those thoughts and feelings will only procrastinate what you are hoping to achieve.

Loving yourself should be unconditional.

When you are vulnerable, weak, or exposed why would you want to further cut yourself with words? 

Who, if not you, is in the best place to provide a space of acceptance for ALL of you? 

Here are a few questions to begin the turnaround:
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1. Why do you feel the need to be hard on yourself? What do you hope to achieve?
2. Is there a way that the same outcome can be achieved with understanding and acceptance? What would that look like?
3. Why are you making this change? Is this for the someone else's approval? And is how you talk to yourself taken from how that person treats you?
4. Can you rewrite the reason why you are making this change and why this is the best thing for YOU?

Start with reconnecting with why you are making that change. Figure out why you feel the need to be harsh with yourself. And if it were someone you cared about, would your approach be any different? How can you begin to get supportive and accepting of yourself? 

Maybe put together a script that comes from a place of love and tolerance and have it nearby to read if you find yourself in one of your moments! 

I'd love to hear how it goes with those questions!

Written With Love.

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