Habit Relapse and Five must do’s when you do.

Everything is about evolution. We seem wired to move ‘towards’. The ‘what’ of that towards could be a whole range of things and will vary.

Career, Health, Relationship, Emotional well-being, Clean Living, Healing from a past experience, getting over an Addiction… The list is endless. 

They all have one thing in common: Starting over. And practicing new habits that will support the transition and change we seek.

While it’s a common talking point that new habits are a matter of repetitions to allow the brain to form new connections which eventually develop a new ‘go-to’ action; this piece is about the Habit Relapse.

As a coach that works with Energy, Intution and Manifestations, I did think twice about writing this one. I didn’t want to put out a suggestion about failure, especially if like me, a lot of you are in the midst of changing, evolving or creating new habits.

But not writing this piece would be unauthentic, because in my personal journey of evolution, I have failed, plenty times. And I have my moments even today. It’s what makes ALL of us human. 

So here I am, writing about Habit Relapse and the Five must do's when you Do!

Image: Pixabay.com

A habit relapse is when you go back to actions or thoughts that didn’t serve you to begin with. It is going back to the old ways of doing things and it's not uncommon when you set out to change something. After months, weeks or days of moving in the direction that uplifts you, you find yourself in an all too familiar spot!

I’ll be honest; it can be deflating, discouraging and draining. I mean who LIKES to go back on progress? 

But when and if we do find ourselves in that place, what do we next? How do we deal with it?

I've had my fair of share of trails and erros and these are my top five suggestions the next time you find yourself at the crossroad. I’d like you to remember and use these five points to get back on track:

1. Relapse is you going to a safe space: This is what I experience when I relapse. It happens because the old habit is so comforting, so familiar, so soothing. It makes me feel secure, offers me a safe space. When we undergo changes it’s normal for our bodies to react and stress out. And the instinctive reaction when we are under duress is for us to find a way to make ourselves feel OK. We want to reach out for comfort AND old habits give us just that. Comfort. Security. Familiarity. Understanding this 'why' made a huge difference in how I looked at every relapse. 
2. 'Allowing' and 'Compassion' are your greatest tools: I learned through countless relapses that my greatest tools were 'allowing' and 'compassion'. Allowing myself to take the time, allowing myself to go through the unraveling, letting things unfold, giving myself some space before I jump into action. All of that helped. It also became equally important not to judge myself, to be very aware of my self-talk and how I was treating myself. I HAD to show myself compassion when I was down. The last thing I wanted is to create negative energy and push against what I observed, it would only serve in sending me further into a downward spiral. Which I didn't want! So remember to allow and reserve any judgement. 
3. Building new habits is an experiment and a self-learning opportunity: Evolving, growing, building, developing is a SERIES, not a step. It’s an experiment; you mix, match and test. It’s a process where you discover and learn about yourself; about your strength, tenacity, intelligence, and skill. Relapse can be a wonderful downtime to reflect and build new strategies; to imagine a new way forward, create a new playground to play in. 
4. The past matters not, only your next step: Every moment is an invitation to transform. What you did last month, last week, yesterday, this past second; matters not. You have the power to create and manifest anew. Relapses don’t DEFINE you, they make you strong. What you CHOOSE as your next step is what’s important. When I get back into it, I start small, baby steps. One push-up, one post, one carrot…
5. Tell the truth to your support group: Come clean to your support group. The people who you’ve chosen to surround yourself with as you make the changes are the ones that are in the best position to motivate you when you relapse. Pretending that everything is OK is not recommended. Choose your support group wisely, you should feel safe with them, they should be people you want to emulate and also ones that help create an environment for success.

 
I don’t pretend to do new habits or changes perfectly but THESE FIVE have worked for me every time. I find that if I follow ALL these when I relapse, I tend to snap out of it faster.

Here's to your success, your discoveries and your happiness.

Oh, and while you are at it, let me know what the #1 change is for you right now and how you are doing with it? 

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