Working your intent and practicing where to focus your attention is the game called Deliberate Creation.
We intend what we wish to create, focus with our thoughts and support that with actions that match our intentions.
A while ago I wrote about the importance of creating personal boundaries. In a nutshell, it is important to not only become aware of who we are but also increase our circle of influence. And one way to do this is to communicate our personal boundaries to others. It's a way of telling others how we intend to be treated in our interactions.
If we have successfully communicated that intention, how do we know it's working? How can we be sure that others have received that message and understand the rules of engagement?
Before I share my personal experience, I want to highlight a few noteworthy talking points about setting boundaries:
Here's what I experienced this week with a little background, to begin with...
A few months ago, a friend of mine confronted me about distance she was feeling in our relation. I remember I was uncomfortable as I knew this talk was coming and I didn't feel ready. ( I had been playing the conversation in my head, so I was creating the situation for this to happen).
We talked it out and I expressed the distance as result of my discomfort with how she would use my shortcomings to liven up a conversation. Although I knew she wasn't being malicious, it made me uncomfortable as it would bring back certain feelings I associate with being bullied in school. Since the sensitivity and my experience with all that are still work in progress, I expressed how I felt and how I would prefer she not do that. That was a boundary which, for the moment, kept me safe.
We talked some more, we understood each other's needs and that was that.
Last week, I went to an art gallery opening with the same friend. We had an awesome time, met new people, shared good conversations, all in all, a fun time.
Two days later, I get a text from her, apologizing for repeating what I'd asked her not to do. She was thinking through the evening and realized she had done it again.
As I read the text, I remember thinking, 'Wait, What happened?' It was news to me. I was barely able to point out the remark she was referencing. All I remember of the evening was how happy I was and what a fun time I had.
And it was such a learning moment for the both of us and it was good feedback that we've evolved since that conversation all those months ago.
This is what I figured out.
I share this to show you my personal experience of how it works out, how to connect the dots, how you can measure improvements that you are making.
How do you know it's working?
You'll know it's working when you start to encounter less and less of the situation you are trying to change.
You'll know it's working when you hear from others the changes they see.
You'll know it's working when your triggers aren't triggers anymore.
You'll know it's working when you start to live your intention and your intention becomes your experience, your reality.
Deliberate creation is not complicated but it does require disciplined changes and a strong commitment to doing the work. It's small tweaks in thought, speech, and actions done over a period of time that effortlessly bring to you huge successes.
And you realize that you didn't really chase after anything, you just created the circumstances that allowed those big wins to play out in your life.
Here's to your manifestations and creations!
Written with Love.
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