Overcoming helplessness when a loved one is struggling...

Almost all of us have tried this approach at some point or another. We have weighed in all the options, gone through a pro and cons list and contemplated all the possible outcomes. And after much of the internal debate and with a whole lot of love and concern, we are convinced what the best course of action is for someone we care about. 

• ‘I just want you to do better for yourself’
• ‘I want you to trust me, this is the right option’
• ‘I want you to be happy and joyful (or successful, or healthy, or fill in the blank…)’

‘I just want you to do better for yourself’ - because I can’t handle seeing you waste yourself. If I had what you do, it would solve my problem and you don’t realize its value. I am judged on the things you achieve and I don't like being judged. 

‘I want you to trust me, this is the right option’ - because right now I need this to go away. I have multiple things going on and would like one less. If you do this, it will help me, make me happy, make me proud, etc…

‘I want you to be happy and joyful (or successful, or healthy, or fill in the blank…)- because that makes ME happy and joyful. Your success makes me proud and helps bump up my self value, then there is friends and family that be accepting of us. You being healthy makes ME worry less… 

Over generalization? Maybe but maybe not.

Whichever way you look at it, the core of such thoughts is always adulterated by self-interest. Because something the other person is doing or not doing is causing a hindrance or difficulty for you personally. Besides, if they just got on board and followed a path that you know to be of value, it seems like a faster, easier and more civilized way to do things, isn't it?

But what if they don't do what you ask? What if they don't agree with your plan? What if they continue with actions that are not in line with your thinking? Especially if those actions seem to make things more difficult for them... and you.

That's when the feeling of Helplessness sets in. And this blog is to address that situation and possibly offer way to deal with that feeling. 

Image:Pixabay.com

Here is something to contemplate:

Each of us has a divine purpose and a journey that is to play out. Some of what happens to us may seem beyond our control but it is absolutely necessary for the larger scheme of things. Then there are aspects of our life that we as creators can attract and create our realities. These too serve a purpose of our divine expansion and evolution.

Just as each of us has a personal journey that links us to the larger consciousness, so does every other person we know. Each of them has their own lessons to learn, paths to forge and expansions to be experienced.

But every single event, situation or action is ALWAYS in service to the collective consciousness and part of the bigger divine scheme of things.

Sometimes we might not understand any of it till the whole thing plays out and reveals itself. And all I am to do is keep my alignment and stay centered at all times.

This has been the biggest lesson and a source of guidance in times when I have faced difficult interpersonal struggles.

If my happiness or peace of mind depends on someone else doing or saying what I need them to, then I know I am out of alignment.

And therein lays the opportunity for practice.

If I can keep my alignment and connection to source in spite of what someone else does, or says or is, then I show up better equipped to support them, deal with and contribute to the situation. 

I’ll tell you from my on-going personal experience, that one of the worst things about watching someone walk their path (which may seem contrary to your personal preference) is the waiting. It’s the waiting for time to move forward to a place where it has all worked out, where they are no longer in pain, when it’s back to a place where it’s peaceful and stress or anxiety dissipate; where each of us is joyful.

When you find the spiral downward come on, remind yourself, they too are source energy, just as you. And they are better served with your alignment and your connection in love, especially when they might not be able to wield it for themselves. 

This is dedicated to those of us who have faced or facing a situation where we don't completely understand the reason behind someone's decisions. You are not alone and may you find the clarity you seek. 

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