This one is field tested and it works every single time!
It is a simple yet effective way to test your Self Love levels and mastery. Pass this one and you know you got success in the bag!
You can then safely move on to using any other tools or practices to further your goals and get what you want!
Just so we are on the same page; Self Love = Self Acceptance = Self-Compassion.
Self Love ≠ Self Esteem (Ego)
And yes, what you heard is true, valuing what you have to offer, accepting your areas of development, being considerate of your own needs as an individual directly relates to your success, happiness, confidence, and satisfaction.
OK back to this litmus test. Here’s how it works:
1. Identify the sample: Think of your immediate environment, people or things that are extensions of your reality, your home, your partner, your children, close friends, business mate, your reflection in the mirror, your body…
2. Administer and observe: Think of each of your chosen extensions and pay attention to how you feel about them. Do you love everything about it? Does it lift you up? Or does it make you feel crappy? Do you primarily think about the good qualities? Or do you find yourself listing things that are lacking? You could list your thoughts, it helps.
3. Interpret the results: If you find yourself feeling a lack for your extensions, you know you have work to do with amping your self-acceptance and self-compassion.
4. Work the connection: Being in a place of lack about any part of ‘you’ isn’t going to serve you. When you do find an area that needs alignment of thought, engage your favorite practice to get into alignment.
You might ask, how can thoughts about the external environment indicate the level of Self-Love? What does that have to do with anything?
The answer is, E-V-E-R-Y-thing!
The environment is a reflection of what you feel inside. How we feel inside directs our everyday focus; and what we focus on, we bring into our existence.
Here’s an example of how it played out for me:
Over the last six months, I have been rebuilding my practice and I have gone back and forth with the marketing and branding. I am in the process of finding joy for marketing; I even tried to work with a marketing professional to identify a way forward. That didn’t go anywhere because I wasn’t inspired by any of the solutions.
When I don’t get inspired I know it’s time to deep dive and take a closer look at what’s causing the lack. And so, I did the Self Love Litmus test and I chose my website and my practice as my intended samples.
As I was interpreting the results, I found myself writing limiting beliefs about the website name! Things like; ‘It’s not easy to remember.’ ‘It not familiar or relatable’ ‘I HAVE to make it simpler for others to remember the name’
Wait what?! Did I build these limiting beliefs over the years because of the mainstream marketing gurus? How did I lose joy for the business name?
The shocker was when I realized I was projecting onto the practice, my lack of joy for my full name. These were the exact sentiments I’ve had regarding my name growing up! It’s too lengthy, it’s difficult for people to remember, or I HAVE TO have shorter handles so that people have easy access to me.
(In case you are wondering; my full name is Ruby Gangadharan Kodangat.)
Whoa! Who would have seen that coming? Not me!
The fact remains that people who don’t know me but wanted to hire me, were able to find me because they cared enough to remember. And not ALL the people who remember the name have hired me.
But for me, it begins with dealing with the limiting beliefs I have about my own name! Before I can regain joy for the marketing of the practice, I must master the joy for my name and change the limiting beliefs.
Wait till I tell my dad about this realization, Oh boy…!
(In case you were wondering, all my handles have been changed to my name, no more forced creativity with pseudo names! And I love this anchoring exercise I used as a Trainer, where you look into the mirror and rehearse your talking points? In this case, I’ll be using power stance and repeating my name out loud to find the easy in it.)
The Self Love Litmus test works for every situation. The external is always, always an extension of what you are projecting from inside of you.
Have you ever had this happen to you, where you worked on improving aspects of yourself and the external issues were sorted out? Or you realized what you were experiencing was also what YOU were dishing out elsewhere?
There is nothing that can be got if you aren’t amped up on Self-Acceptance and Self-Compassion and there is nothing that can’t be worked out when you are!
All this work is a process, so remember to be gentle with you!
Have you anything to add or share about your experience?