The Two Positive Attitude myths
Positive Attitude, the thing that everyone says we need to have to be happy and successful.
Positive - Good, Affirmative, Constructive
Attitude - certain way of thinking or feeling
So a positive attitude would mean 'a good, affirmative, constructive way of thinking or feeling'?
The problem with the way people understand this is that they put the emphasis on the 'thinking' part.
"You need to thinking about the good in this situation. Think about words that are positive and describe your situation by using positive words."
I call bulls%#t!
Myth 1: If you think positive and say positive words, you will be happy and attract the good things.
It's not a thinking process, its a feeling process! And that's where most people go wrong and struggle with the techniques and eventually become critics. A while ago I saw a blog or article that talked about how being positive and having a positive attitude really doesn't work.
I can imagine why many are turned off or distance themselves from it. It can get very frustrating when you continue to say good things, positive words, which would be considered the 'right things to say' and get no results.
The statement to debunk myth 1: Your feelings dictate your thoughts.
What does that mean for us in everyday practice?
Well, simply put, how you feel about it will dictate the energy you continue to carry around. So no matter how many positive words you say out loud, it means little against the energy created by your feelings.
Yes, you can use the 'fake till you make it' technique and I do believe that if you stick with it long enough, it will make a difference.
But that's the hard way around the problem. And chances are that the same situation will crop up because you haven't dealt with how you feel about it. You haven't processed and re-engineered your brain patterns to take you to the next level.
Work on the feelings!
Myth 2: Being positive means to always be in a state of contentment, joy and super charged.
Emotions and feelings are a big part being and staying positive. We grow up with other people's projections and paradigms, which also means that we learn how to process emotions from them.
It takes continuous work to build up the behavior to keep your feelings in check. Most of us have to re-work and unlearn years of behavior patterns.
The statement to debunk myth 2: There is a range of emotions and all are valid. To get to the good feeling, we must understand, accept and own each of these emotions.
I like to refer to the Abraham -Hicks Emotional Guidance scale as detailed in the book Ask and It's Given. It remains my go-to for coaching.
Sometimes what we need to do to feel positive may not conform to the popular version. So, if you must take time to express anger to get away from fear, take the time to do that. And that will be the most 'positive attitude' you are able to express; for now. And that's OK!
But the aim should be to move upward on the Guidance Scale.
It's a journey and a crucial one at that. Being positive can mean different things to different people, depending which emotion one may be experiencing.
Own and accept every emotion!
So in conclusion, while practicing positive attitude, keep two things in mind:
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