The family that we choose for ourselves. That means the people in your life that aren't your birth family but overtime are a part of your life on a regular basis.
Families have a special place in relationships and have incredible control over how you feel. Traditionally that used to be parents, grandparents or maybe an aunt or uncle.
For a lot of us, it’s come to be that we aren't as close to our birth families as we are to the ‘faux families’ we have chosen for ourselves. And although I have used the word 'faux', it’s anything but.
This blog is for those who find this situation to be true.
Over time, we have unconsciously curated people as an integral part of our life; school or college mates, neighbors, work mates, ex's, dates gone wrong, professors, support groups, friends of friends, online followers, etc.
Today these faux families have more control over us than we like to admit. I bet most of us feel our actions are independent of them or our feelings not fueled by their actions.
So not true!
Some might argue that a lot of us have no choice in who we interact on a daily basis. That we can't really choose our teachers, work mates or neighbors.
And I say, yes that's true. But here’s why I say that.
Who we are surrounded by is an external reflection of who we are inside. You will bring into your life people, things and situation that reflect your thoughts. You will continue to have the same experiences and be fed with the same information over and over.
So what does your faux family say about you?
To rebuild and update the people you have in your life means to work on yourself.
Maybe as a temporary measure, you can avoid someone or cut them out of your life but it won't fix the core issue; how you feel inside, what you think and what filters you use to process information.
And as a result, more often than not, you’ll find that similar people and situations are back into your life.
Reflect on your chosen family. Does this hold true for you? Are you in a good place with the quality of your faux family?
If no, how much more time are you will to let pass in this state? What compromises will you continue to make? What’s it worth? Or better yet, is it worth it?